me unplugged

Thu, 08 Mar 2007 04:46:12 GMT

Huh. I don't actually agree with a lot of this...

The Everything Test

There are many different types of tests on the internet today. Personality tests, purity tests, stereotype tests, political tests. But now, there is one test to rule them all.

Traditionally, online tests would ask certain questions about your musical tastes or clothing for a stereotype, your experiences for a purity test, or deep questions for a personality test.We're turning that upside down - all the questions affect all the results, and we've got some innovative results too! Enjoy :-)

Personality

You are more emotional than logical, more concerned about self than concerned about others, more religious than atheist, more loner than dependent, more lazy than workaholic, more rebel than traditional, more engineering mind than artistic mind, more idealist than cynical, more leader than follower, and more introverted than extroverted.

As for specific personality traits, you are adventurious (100%), intellectual (80%), horny (72%), artistic (72%).

Stereotypes
Old Geezer	83%
Young Professional	82%
Hippie	74%

Life Experience
Sex	27%
Substances	16%
Travel	21%

Politics
Your political views would best be described as Libertarian, whom you agree with around 58% of the time.

Socioeconomic
Your attitude toward life best associates you with Middle Class. You make more than 0% of those who have taken this test, and 65% less than the U.S. average.

If your life was a movie, it would be rated PG-13.
By the way, your hottness rank is 43%, hotter than 62% of other test takers.

TAKE THE TEST
brought to you by thatsurveysite

but I agree with some of it...

"Old Geezer" :snicker:

Fri, 16 Feb 2007 06:42:36 GMT

SCREAM
so mad i could
SPIT
so crazy inside
CRASH
emotions colliding till I
BREAK

SOB
so hurt for someone else's
PAIN
all I can do is try to
BREATHE
and remind myself what's done is
UNDONE

TIRED
of watching others
SUFFER
at the hands of
PREDATORS
who leap on weakness and
KILL

SPIRIT
falters and words are
WEAK
I reach for the cosmos
HEALING
and pass along
PEACE
that's long overdue.

:Beyond the Split:

Wed, 10 Jan 2007 22:47:41 GMT

gone
taken
removed
suddenly
your face
no longer
lives in me
your memory
haunts from
shadows
a force
I cannot
see
but
cannot
ignore
somtimes I
feel you
watching
waiting
for me
to heal
to forget
my longing
for your
touch
you live now
only inside
a memory
that fades
no succor
in things
I cannot see

no peace
in things
I cannot
touch
you didn't
leave
me once
you've left
me every
day
You slip
and fall
from me
with every
tear I cry
until one day
for ever
you'll be
gone
leaving
me
waiting
for the return
of something
I can't
name
some ghost
I don't
recall.

:Something Without You:

Wed, 10 Jan 2007 06:26:26 GMT

Something
wrong with this picture
the one with me
without you in it.

Something
off about the way it goes now
this life of mine
without you in it.

Something
strange in my heart
still beating steady
though yours no longer does.

Something
forlorn in every smile
from every person
because they're not you.

Something
lonely in every crowd
just me alone surrounded
by faces that aren't yours.

Something
wrong with this picture
the one with me
without you in it.

Something
about the way the world is now
is wrong
without you here.

:Rain Man:

Tue, 09 Jan 2007 06:00:51 GMT

He stood alone, a solitary figure welcoming the shower that hid his tears. With his arms stretched open to receive the rain, he looked as some sort of rain man rejoicing in the success of his dance, as the world looked on with scornful laughter.
To the knowing eye he looked nothing like a rain man, unless he was a shaman of the lonely, medicine man of the rejected. And his power was not in healing, but rather in his tears: the same tears being washed away by the rain that would probably be his only shower until the next storm.
As the drops washed over his face, those of us watching from the windows of our warm, suburban homes noticed a change.
This reject, this outcast, this friendless, homeless, lonely, dirty man took on a new appearance. He was not an outcast, he was not a reject, he was not a homeless man, he was not just one of “lower society” with whom no one associated themselves…he was a man.
We watched as a small child emerged from one of the homes on our well-kept block and walked solemnly through the rain in her pink flowered raincoat with her eyes fixed on our town misfit. We watched as she took his large, rough, dirty hand in hers and danced with him; never taking her eyes from his face, or the smile from her young, rosebud lips.
And those of us who watched cried tears of shame, because we could not do the same, because it took a child to show us, because we could not see, because we could not dance, because we could not love.

:Mirrored Images:

Tue, 09 Jan 2007 06:00:18 GMT

She sits quietly in front of the mirror. Studying herself for traces of the girl in the photographs she has so carefully arranged in the album. She looks for the sparkle in her eyes and finds only sorrow. She looks for the glow of joy in her skin and finds only bags and dark circles under her eyes, shoddily hidden by makeup. She wants so desperately to reconcile the two images- the girl and the woman...
But she is neither. She is trapped in between and does not recognize the person she has become. She looks back at the photo album spread before her on the bathroom counter. What happened to that girl? Is she buried beneath the pudge and flab that surrounds her body, making her look more like 40 than 18. Beneath it all is that young, exuberant smiling child still smiling? Or has she been lost with weight gain and uselessness?
Her eyes move from the reflection of her face, to the reflection of her arms. She searches for stretch marks, now hidden by a summer tan, and finds none. She turns her eyes to the glowing red lines on her shoulder. She remembers each and every one, and turns her head from the mirror to her arm. Raising one long finger she gently traces the lines then runs her hand over her shoulder, top to bottom from her shoulder to her elbow the horizontal lines making mini-mountains, ridges in her arm disturbing her smooth, tan skin. Her eyes fall on the scars of older wounds... on her forearm, dark lines picked up the sun more deeply than the rest of her skin, brown lines are contrasted against her almond tan.
She runs her finger against the dark brown line, tracing its path, it is old and worn and feels no different than the rest of the skin on her arm, it feels smooth and she wonders how long it will be before her new wounds become merely part of the skin. But for now they are reminders. Reminders of pain without release.
She lifts her shirt and examines the purple stretch marks on her stomach. Sighing in disgust she traces them with her fingers. Thin lines dot her stomach as well... like the lines on her arm they are new and still have the glow of new blood.
She remembers the very first. Right after him. Right after he died. So much pain, no way to let it out. A pin provided relief as she sat in her bathroom and scratched away at her thigh until she saw the thinnest line of blood appear. With it, her pain was released, at least for a moment. Again 3 years later she sat in the same room and scratched away at her arm, unable to draw a line deep enough to end it all. For half an hour she sat tracing the same line on her arm with a safety pin until blood began to rise to the surface. Then she stopped, unable to draw far enough that blood spilled over. Just the thinnest line of red was needed to stop the pain.
Thin lines of pain all over her body now. She hides them from the concern of others. Her thighs are a maze of lines, and her shoulder requires her to wear t-shirts at all times despite the increasing heat of summer. No one can know. It is her secret lie... while her face smiles she cries inside, dying... waiting until the moment when she can be alone... to draw more lines to release her emotional pain in exquisite physical torment.
She looks back to the mirror... and wonders what became of that girl...

:Smile, I'm fine:

Tue, 09 Jan 2007 05:57:27 GMT

A little girl running around without shoes. I trip and scrape my knobbly knees. But I smile and say I'm fine and you pick me up and spin me around until I start to cry so you stop. But I smile and say I'm fine and we’re off to some new adventure, and we won’t understand till we get there but I smile and say I'm fine and here we go again.

A teenager waiting for her call. I wait till dusk is dawn. 16 in love is just so hard when no-one loves you back. But I smile and say I'm fine and you pray to God that these years will be kind until I can’t stand to here your prayers anymore so you stop. But I smile and say I'm fine and we’re off to some new adventure and we won’t understand till we get there, but I smile and say I'm fine and here we go again.

A young woman with scars self-inflicted. 19 too old to play too young to know what I want from this world, in between everything, ready for nothing. But I smile and say I'm fine and you tell me to live this life until I scream that I have live my own, not yours so you stop. But I smile and say I'm fine and we’re off to some new adventure and we won’t understand till we get there, but I just can’t smile anymore.

I find myself stuck between the girl, the teenager, the woman… trapped in them all but not fitting any one role. And I try to smile… but I'm not fine so anymore, the corners of my mouth wont work that way and my eyes begin to leak, and my heart begins to ache and you ask if I'm ok so I try to smile.

But I just can’t smile anymore. And I havent been fine in a while. And you realize that your little girl doesn’t exist as you knew her, and her life is now her own and she has to make it work without you.

So you smile and say you’re fine and we’re off to some new adventure and we won’t understand till we get there but you smile and say you’re fine
So here we go again.

:You Have:

Tue, 09 Jan 2007 05:54:40 GMT

You have
Spoiled my lips
For kissing

You have
Turned my skin
From touching

You have
Stolen my hand
For holding.

You have
Kept my heart
From loving

You have
Lost my faith
In trusting

You have
Taken my love
For granted

You have
Spoiled my lips
For kissing.

:Search:

Tue, 09 Jan 2007 05:52:47 GMT

Just when you think you’ve discovered the truth
Everything
Changes
Friends
Become
Enemies
Enemies
Become
Angels
Good
Becomes
Bad
Bad
Becomes
Debatable

Just when you think you’ve discovered the truth,
Everything
Changes
Epiphany
Becomes
Confusion
Confusion
Becomes
Enlightenment
You realize there is no truth
only assumptions
But you won’t give up the search
Because you know that the
Truth
Is
Out
There
Even if
You
Can’t
Find
It
So you won’t give up the search

But just when you think you’ve discovered the truth
Everything
Changes
Again.

:That Girl:

Tue, 09 Jan 2007 05:51:25 GMT

I'm not that girl
That used to ride her bike
And laugh at nothing.

I'm not that girl
That lived next door
And always had a smile on her face.

I'm not that girl
That went to church
And cried tears of reverent joy

I'm not that girl
That you once knew
Who always knew her way.

I'm not that girl
That everyone saw
Who played her part so well.

I'm not that girl anymore.

I'm not that girl
Because I cannot
Laugh at nothing

I'm not that girl
Because I cannot
Always smile

I'm not that girl
Because I cannot
Just believe

I'm not that girl
Because I cannot
Find my way.

I'm not that girl
Because I cannot
Wear my mask

Anymore.

:No More:

Tue, 09 Jan 2007 05:51:01 GMT

shaking.
hands lifting
small blade
large duty
comfort.

still.
hands holding
silver
to skin
pull
--don’t
press
--don’t

steady.
hands leaving
knife
no pain
no blood

shaking.
hands wiping
tears
bits of fear
drops of
strength

no more scars
today.

:Princess Moonlight:

Tue, 09 Jan 2007 05:50:13 GMT

Two girls danced between the waves
After the light had left the day.
And as they played there hand in hand
They found their salvation in the sand
“If I don’t believe it, it doesn’t exist”
“There is nothing more precious in the world than this”
And then two friends became much more,
As they searched for answers on the sandy shore,
For something in their souls said now,
Sisters were what they’d truly found.
And now each year, as nights go past,
Two Princesses find their way at last
To visit again the moonlit shore,
To talk and cry, and laugh once more.

:Magic Summer:

Tue, 09 Jan 2007 05:49:40 GMT

BLYTHE: What happened?
Sare99: to What?
BLYTHE: to summer and drinking and
Tanning and pools and driving
To nowhere at midnight?
What happened?
Sare99: Time
It passed
Like it always does
BLYTHE: Will it come back?
Make it come back
Sare99: I wish it would
BLYTHE: Wheres a magic wand when
You need one.

:Kiss:

Tue, 09 Jan 2007 05:49:02 GMT

Lips and tongue
Velvety smooth exploration
of a darkly sweet delight.
Wrapped in gold and
touched with
FIRE,
a mingling of the heart.
A melting warm and
soft embrace as tongue
finds lips and teeth.
No succor left
the kiss is gone
and all is left is
the memory
of its
taste.

:Girl in the Mirror:

Tue, 09 Jan 2007 05:47:11 GMT

The girl in the mirror
Looks back
With fear in her eyes
Waiting.

The girl in the mirror
Looks back
With pain in her eyes
Waiting.

The girl in the mirror
Looks back
With anger in her eyes
Waiting.

The girl in the mirror
Looks back
Expectantly
Waiting.

The girl in the mirror
Looks back
Waiting for her

Reflection to change

:Ghosts:

Tue, 09 Jan 2007 05:46:36 GMT

We stood together
Hand in Hand
Silently Contemplating
the Past:
What and Who
had gone
Before.
Our pain
Our sorrow
Our joy
Our laughter
Our tears
Our anguish;
All were considered
And r e l e a s e d.

And the man in the moon
S M I L E D
As we watched the
Ghosts of our past
Walk silently away
Into
The night,
Then turned and faced
The
FUTURE.

:Never After:

Tue, 09 Jan 2007 05:44:48 GMT

What happens
When Happily
Ever After
Ends?

What if
Cinderella turns
Into a pumpkin
At Midnight?

What if
The Frog Prince
Wants flies
For dessert?

What if
Snow White
Becomes her mother,
As so many of us do?

What happens
When Happily
Ever After
Ends?

Do servants make capable queens?
Do princes turn back into frogs?
Do witches live on in their daughters?

What if
Happily
Ever
After---
Just Isn't?

:Don't Blink:

Tue, 09 Jan 2007 05:43:32 GMT

You say I’m lucky.
Lucky to have a plan,
To know what I want to do with the
Rest of my life..

I do?

You say it’s cool.
Cool to know what you want to do
To have known all your life
What you wanted.

I do?

You say I’m blessed.
Blessed to know myself so well.
To be so ready to
Face the world.

I am?

I say I have a plan.
I say I know what I want to do
I say I know myself

I say I’m full of it.

I am.

I have a plan.
But it’s not mine.

I know what I want,
But I don’t want it

I know myself,
But I don’t know who I am.

Shocked?

I had a plan,
I knew what I wanted,
And I thought I knew myself.

But things change when you’re
Not looking.
I blinked, and
missed it.

My advice?

Don’t

Blink.

:Divided:

Tue, 09 Jan 2007 05:43:07 GMT

sabotage myself
my heart can’t
keep your love
happiness isn't my thing.

slash myself
to be real again
looking for meaning
in an empty glass

no rhyme or
reason why cant I
be thin or beautiful
but you said I was
once.

once upon a time
little girl
with love and
trust.

shattered
sliced to shreds
nothing left
divided and
divided
and divided.

too many to count
nothing left to break
pieces too small to fix
too small to destroy.

nothing left
not even
me.

:Direction:

Tue, 09 Jan 2007 05:42:19 GMT

pick up pen
write
nothing
avoiding distraction
dodging the alternative
pick up pencil
draw
nothing
change the subject
primary avoidance
of secondary nature
pen for razor
pencil for blade
lead and ink
not blood.
Avoid the obvious
change direction
go with the flow
of words.
ignore desire
deny emotion
work from reason
write.

:Confusion Reigns:

Tue, 09 Jan 2007 05:41:35 GMT

Confusion reigns
In the heads of
Princesses less known

Ruling what
Should be better
Used for knowledge.

Confusion reigns
In the mind of children
Growing old.

Ruling what
Should be better
Used for fancy.

Confusion reigns
In the lives of people
Once so sure.

Ruling what
Should be better
Used to live.

Confusion Reigns
Supreme.

:Boxes:

Tue, 09 Jan 2007 05:40:45 GMT

Boxes of blue
of green
of red

My emotions mixed
and packed
into neat little boxes
of light.

Tied together with
one long
black satin ribbon:
My heart.

A purple thread of truth
weaving through
Chaos,
pushed away by
boxes

Boxes of blue
of green
of red

My emotions mixed
and packed
into neat little boxes
of light.

:Anywhere but Here:

Tue, 09 Jan 2007 05:39:47 GMT

I wanted to scream
to cry
to leave
to go somewhere,
anywhere
to be anywhere but
here.
to see the beach
the road
the sky
to scream
to cry
not to be
heard
or
seen.

to be forgotten in
a moment
to forget
the moment
to become
anonymous

like a wave…
one of
many
to scream
to cry
to go somewhere
anywhere
to be anywhere but
here.

:Amy and Linzie:

Tue, 09 Jan 2007 05:37:25 GMT

I knew a girl
who called herself
Amy
because she wanted
to be someone
else.

I knew a girl
whose hair was deep
red
because she thought Amy
would never be
blond

I knew a girl
whose arms were all
tan
because she thought Amy
would never be
pale.

I knew a girl
who was tall and all
bone
because she thought Amy
would never be
fat.

I knew a girl
who was littered with
scars
because Amy
just couldn’t hold
on.

I know a girl
who swung on a
rope
Because Amy was fake
and Linzie was
Real.

I know a girl
who lives all
alone
Because now Amy’s
nowhere to be
found.

:Blip:

Tue, 09 Jan 2007 05:16:19 GMT

What do you tell her?
About me,
About us.

Was I even a blip on your radar,
someone worth mentioning,
someone worth remembering.

Or am I just
a friend
an aquaintance,
a non-relatinoship
non-entity,
non-love.

Do you explain me to her?
Do you tell her you loved me once?
Do you tell her I loved you,
that I still do?

Friends,
my idea this
Friendship.

Glad to be,
grateful to be,
but still

I wish I could know,
What do you tell her
about me
about us?

Does she know?
Do you care?
Do I?